July 5, 2012
So yesterday I was again trying not to be discouraged but
I was. The people I am naturally attracted to aren’t contacting me or
responding so I have been questioning the type of person I should go for. So I
have been thinking about what I want and I honestly don’t know. How can I judge
from a small little computer screen? I can’t know a person by the 6 pictures
they put up and the 3,000 characters they use to describe themselves. I need to
be patient and I just need to go with the flow more. I need to let the stars
align and let fate take its course. I want everything to just be easy and
sometimes in life you need to worry less and believe more.
I just logged on and I have 9 matches today, 6 emails, 0
winks (what the heck?!?!), and 2 interested. I am not interested in the 2
interested in me. The first guy seemed like a plain bagel. Nobody ever wants a
dry plain bagel. The second guy lives too far away. Way too many people contact
me that live way far away. I know we are all on here for the same thing and are
open to find love but come on I want to date someone that can come over quickly
if there is a spider that needs to be killed. I don’t want to start out doing
long distance.
Ok so update, while I was typing those 2 paragraphs I had
a person wink at me (welcome back winks) and another email.
The guy who winked is also the additional email.
Persistent much? But I need to stick to my pledge to go with the flow and let
love come to me without getting frustrated and getting negative about the
process. I mean in all actuality it has been one week today that I joined. I
feel like there has been a lot that has happened in a week.
So Mr. Persistent sent a questionable email.
His email:
Sorry for bothering, but I had to say that you
are gorgeous!!
I mean I just don’t know what to say about this email. I
feel like it is really timid in the beginning but I’m not going to lie, who
doesn’t like to hear that they are beautiful.
I don’t know how to respond. I mean I wish he tried to spark some sort
of convo. What do you say back? Thanks for telling me that, you seem cool
except you only wrote like 3 sentences about yourself and all your pictures are
you taking pictures of yourself in the mirror with your phone. I hate those
damn pics. But I need to try and go with the flow right? I don’t know what to
do. Should I respond? I mean it was really nice how do you not respond? I don’t
know if we would be a match though. But do I even know who a match would be for
me? I am confused. I guess Ill respond.
My response:
Thank you, that is a great compliment.
I mean I didn’t know what to say. I said something and oh
well. Sit back and keep going throw the process.
Here is Mr. Lawyer again. He is super nice. Maybe not the
type of guy I usually go for but those people haven’t worked out so he is worth
a shot. He is nice and his emails at least have some personality. He shortened my name and I don’t know how I
feel about it. My family and close friends call me by that nickname but I don’t
know how I feel about him using it. I guess he is just trying to show me that
he is comfortable with me?
His email:
E,
Actually right now I am pool side for the
first time all summer, even though it shouldn't be. I love sushi man I actually
was having some when I first read your message from today. Your in cbus that's
gnarly, I was supposed to be there but I thought I might have to work today. I
was on my way in when my boss emailed me and said even if you have to work
saturday enjoy today off. If you go to blind bobs in the oregon ill pre pay for
the first round I no the owner plus he will hook me up so let me no. It was
good to hear from you.
My response:
So glad you got out
of having to work. Nobody should have to work on America’s birthday J the 4th is for
doing American things like pools, beers,
and grill outs. I honestly have no idea where we will go on Saturday. I have
never been out in the Oregon District so I will just go wherever they go.
Thanks for offering to pay for the first round but I have no idea where we will
be. Do you have any plans for the weekend?
E
I mean it was a nice email. I don’t know how I feel about
the “pre-paid drinks” but the gesture was nice. I can’t complain about shivery.
He has so many errors in this email. I mean come on Mr. Lawyer, were you drunk
when you emailed me?!? This looks like a 7th grade essay…maybe
worse. Quick grammar lesson,
your=possession you’re=you are. His email did come from a Blackberry so we will
give him the benefit of the doubt. He is nice and enthusiastic and this is all
about me exploring new things and getting out of the comfort zone.
Here is a new approach to emailing and getting attention…
His email:
Grab that net and catch that beautiful butterfly
Your profile caught my eye and I just had to say Hi! I'm sure
you're getting a million emails from loser guys on here with 3 kids, 2 baby
mamas, 4 teeth, and 0 car/job/aspirations. But don't worry, that doesn't apply
to me...I have 5 teeth haha!
But seriously, I'd like to hear more about you. So why are Italy
and Ireland at the top of your travel list? What book are you reading now?
Talk to you soon!
Mike
ps. Bonus points if you can name the movie my
email subject line comes from
My response:
Hey,
Yeah there have been some people on here that aren’t a
match but lucky for you one thing I am looking for in a guy is at least 5
teeth. So you just make the cut.
I want to travel to Italy and Ireland because I am both
Italian and Irish plus they are both beautiful.
Right now I am reading “Dead End in Norvelt.” It is a teen/young adult
book so you probably have never heard of it. It just won the 2012 Newberry
medal and I always try and read those books over the summer so I can recommend
during the year. I’m a huge book dork J. How about you? Are you
reading anything right now? Talk to you soon.
E
P.S. I did what I do with every answer I don't know and I
googled your bonus question...Google faithfully reported it is from Wedding
Crashers :)
I liked that email. It was refreshing and kinda different.
He looks fun and nice and it is worth a shot right. I’m keeping myself positive
and telling myself to give these guys a try. You can’t really decide anything
from an online profile. I need to meet them and decide. The only problem with
that is if I go out with them and don’t like them then it is harder to stop
chatting…ohh well this is all about the process, right?
So Mr. FellowOU emailed me back.
His email:
Hey e.
We really do have a lot in common. As with you, I have a close
knit of friends, but they like to do the same, boring routine all the time. And
most of them are in serious relationships or marrjed with kids. I joinec
********** to meet someone new...hopefully something that could turn into more.
Im not on here for a fling. Im as honest and genuine as a person as you will
meet. If u like the "bad boy" type, thats not me. Ill make you laugh,
make wise cracks, get you flowers when u least expect it. I dont have GQ good
looks, but dont think im a dog either. I know how to treat someone, and want
someone to treat me the same. Ive been lied to and cheated on too many times.
Mr. FellowOU
Well shit here Mr. FellowOU. What would you like me to say
here? You might have been too honest? I don’t know but I do know that I feel
awkward after reading this and I don’t know why. I REALLY don’t know how I am
supposed to respond to this. I totally know how you feel about the not Mr. GQ
but not a dog either. That is pretty much how I view myself too. I feel like
you are low on confidence and I need to help bring you up. I have a lot of friends
getting married too. I’m not a “bad girl” either. We are a lot alike. So after
I read this email I feel like you want the same things as me but you seem low
on the self-esteem area. I have to ask myself, am I like you in a sense that I
have low self-esteem too? Do I feel sad and awkward after reading this because
I know exactly what you mean and feel the same way about myself?
My Response:
Mr. FellowOU,
That old saying is wrong, nice guys don’t finish last.
They usually finish first. You seem like a great guy with your priorities in
all the right areas.
E
And here is the southern charm of old Mr. Horseback.
His email:
RE: hey
Hey whats up how was ur 4th of july anything
exciting? Mine was pretty good just grilled out and hung out with my family saw
a huge firework show last night when we were fishing it was a lot of fun. This
is a really good way to meet ppl but there are a lot of crazies on here lol its
pretty funny. I actually have been on this thing for about a month and talked
to a couple ppl but havent really met anyone I would want to hangout with yet
im pretty picky lol. But I decided to try this cuz I dont wanna meet a girl in
a bar and most of my friends r married so they kinda got me to try it out. Im
really hoping I just meet a real down to earth, nice girl. Which believe me is
a lot harder than u would think. I saw that u teach that is pretty cool what
school do you teach at? And what all do you like top do for fun? Well have a
great night ttyl
I mean you have to respect the guy. He is on here to meet
a good girl. He wants what his friends have. I know that feeling. I want to
call my friends and tell them I’m engaged just like they have done to me. I
want the white dress, the million bridesmaids and honeymoon too. I know that feeling.
He seems like a family guy. My issue is that he told me he is picky (which if I
was him I wouldn’t flaunt through the website) Probably a defensive mechanism
to make himself feel better for joining a dating website. But the even bigger
issue here is that you are 31 and you type like one of my 7th grade
students. TTYL? My reaction to that is WTF? I mean didn’t that acronym die
around the same time Backstreet boys did? And again, SPELL CHECK THAT SHIT!
Jeeeez.
My response:
Hey,
I was in Columbus for the 4th visiting my
friends from college. We were pretty low key and just enjoyed each other’s
company. There are certainly some crazies on here. I had a girl contact me the
other day. I guess she missed the part of my profile that said I was interested
in men. I teach in a small district right outside Cincinnati. I have to drive
pretty far to get there because I live in the city, but I like the location
of my school. For fun I enjoy going out
with friends and family, shopping, yoga, zumba, really I enjoy anything when I
am with people I enjoy being around. How about you what do you like to do for
fun?
E
Well look who is back acting very business like…Mr. Go
Getter.
His email:
Hey you never got back to me I was wondering
if you were still wanted to hang out
Yea well I didn’t get back to you because I need my phone
number on the Internet like I need a damn hole in my head. Mr. Go Getter you have not tried to woo me,
you haven’t asked me any basic questions about myself, did I tell you me
name? because I am pretty sure you also
skipped over that. The real question is do you want to hang out with me or are
you just trying to participate in speed dating?
My response:
Hey,
Yeah I don’t really know how I feel about giving out my
number yet so I decided not to text you. I don’t mind chatting here or meeting
you out but I’m not sure how I feel about giving out my number yet. Sorry. I am
down for hanging out sometime.
E
So I was super honest and to the point. Can’t hate on
that. If you don’t like honesty Mr. Go
Getter you aren’t going to like me.
Yea! Mr. Weight Lifter emailed me back! He is probably the
person I am most interested in on here. As of right now I cant really say he is
my “match” but I would say he is the one right now that I look forward to
chatting with.
His email:
Hey E :)
How did things end up going in Columbus? I ended up hanging out
with family and friends for the 4th, and also got to see some fireworks. It was
almost too hot to be outside to enjoy them though lol.
Where are you moving to in a month?
I like the things you are looking for in someone, it sounds like
we are looking for a lot of the same things. :)
I'd like to find someone that I have a lot of chemistry with, I
think sometimes a person can look like a good match on paper, but there has to
also be a feeling inside that you get from the person that goes along with it
too. I'd like to find someone that has the same outlook on life as I do, and
wants the same things out of life as me.
Any big weekend plans coming up?
Mr. Weight Lifter
My response:
Hey,
Columbus was SO great! It was great to see my friends. I
hadn’t seen them since our friend’s wedding about 3 weeks ago so it was
refreshing to see some of them again. If I wasn’t in C-Bus I would have done the
same thing J Always good to share the 4th with family and
friends.
I am moving to a condo in Hyde Park. Right now I live with
my friend in an apartment and we are moving into a condo in August. I am
actually moving right down the street.
I agree with you on finding chemistry with a person.
People can email on here all day long and make themselves sound wonderful but
it is all about the feeling you have with that person. Well put.
I am not doing anything tomorrow but Saturday my dance
team has a car wash fundraiser all day. Lucky for us the high is going to be
102 so I am thinking we will probably sweat our butts off all day. Then I have
a bachelorette party for a friend in Dayton Saturday night. How about you? Any
big plans? Talk to you soon.
E
Well-put Mr. Weight lifter. It is all about the initial
meeting and the chemistry. It is meeting the person and seeing how the
chemistry is. Here I am getting down about the people trying to talk to me not
being right and the people I’m trying to talk to not talking to me, and really
who knows about any of them? They are only writing on paper. I have no idea if
they look like their picture or if they live up to their profiles. It is all
about the chemistry you feel when you are with them. There is still that old-fashioned
kind of love I was looking for in online dating. You still have to feel the
spark when you meet. The set up of how you meet doesn’t matter; it is really all
about the initial meeting and feeling the spark. Mr. Weight Lifter you are a classic example of
wisdom come with age. J So glad you are inspiring me in this process. I need to be meeting more people and chatting
on this time-sucking online email.
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