June 29, 2012
Ok, so I slept on it and I am ready t start this whole new
adventure. So I now have 3 winks, 5 emails, and 5 interests. Alright this looks
like a good start. Either I am super popular on this thing or they can smell
fresh meat from a mile away. Alright, I’ll start with the wink people. By the way what does it mean to “wink” at
someone? Is that like the shy person’s way of saying “hey I think we could be
good together but I don’t want to make the first move?” If that’s what it means
then I will be using that creepy little wink all the time because Lord knows I’m
way to scared to put myself out there and get rejected with an email. Ok, so
the wink people look like total dorks. Great. I need to not be my own worst
fear and judge someone off of the photo. This is all very perplexing. I don’t know what
it all means and I mainly haven’t been able to let myself go and let down my
wall yet. I am still very guarded and I need to loosen up but in the back of my
mind I think about being rejected. Ok this guy seems cool and he winked at me.
He is 30, which means he was finishing up kindergarten when I was born but hey
we were still both born in the 80’s. He is a firefighter and he seems cool
besides the camping part. SO now what? Do I wink back? I looked at his profile
so he will see that I looked at it and if he thinks I looked at it and didn’t
do anything then I think he will think I’m not interested. Ok panic mode. What
do I do? Do I wink? Is that weird to wink back? If I email does that mean I wear
the pants and take all the first steps? What the hell do I do? Whatever I’m
winking. And it’s done. I winked back. Ok, not too bad. My first wink is over
with and I feel good. Now I need to try and not focus on if he will do
something back.
OMG! 73 people have viewed my profile! Well why haven’t some
of these cute guys that have viewed my profile said anything? Is this my first
sign of rejection on the online dating website I just paid $35 to be on? Did I
just pay to get noticed by a few dorks and rejected by almost 80 people?!?! Ok
well I need to change my cover picture. I thought the Bengals hat wearing,
Underarmor coat, drinking a Miller Lite girl was fun and approachable but
really I think it could scream a few different messages. 1. I am just like a
guy, which in turn could mean I am a lesbian. 2. I am not feminine. 3. I am a
Bengals fan and a lot of people hate the Bengals. Or 4. I’m not soft and pretty
in this picture like a guy would want a girlfriend to look like. No wonder all
these dirt bike riding, camping, country men keep liking all my shit. I look
like a down home beer drinking chick. This picture thing is really
powerful. Either way, I’m changing the
picture for now and hopefully almost 80 people won’t pass me by. And a side note to get dressed up this weekend
and stoop to an unthinkable low level of taking solo shots of myself like crazy
Myspace and Facebook teenagers do.
So these emails are interesting. It’s exciting but nerve
racking at the same time. What are they
going to say? How do I respond? What if I don’t like them then what? I don’t
want to be a total bitch and leave them hanging but I don’t want to email them
back if I don’t like their picture (total bitch comment and everything I stand
against in this whole process).
Message 1: summer fun
So schools out for summer right? What's on the agenda for
this week? I hit the pool today, figured 100 degs was a good excuse.
Ok,
so this is weird. I feel like someone just passed me a super awkward note in 6th
grade. “I hit the pool today” what does that mean? You don’t work on Thursdays?
Or you don’t work because that would be a huge problem for me. Is he trying to be cool? He kinda looks cute
in his picture but in the same token he kinda looks like a wax figure. And his
body says “Athletic and toned” would be disappointed if I wasn’t athletic and toned? He emailed me
though so he must be ok with the “Average” rating I gave myself. Or better yet
maybe he doesn’t care so he didn’t even look. Either way it shouldn’t be this
hard. He emailed me so I should email back because I could go on a date with
this guy. But what do I say? This email is super vague and I don’t know how to
ask him a question back without being weird. I feel like I need to ask him a
question though so he has to email me back. Is that pathetic? Probably, but I
don’t care. I feel like a weird 6th graders flirting via passing
notes but I need to make it short, witty, interesting and to the point. What if
I just responded back something like “Send a dick pic” haha funny but not
really. Ok back to the response. Well there is only one day left in the week so
do I just say I’m going to the pool today too? Is he leading into asking me
what I am doing for the weekend? Nothing like always. Or is he just as nervous
as me and trying to make simple convo? I wish everything didn’t have to have
some many hidden agendas and questions attached to them. Is he telling me he
went to the pool to because he wants to come with me or because he wants to
find common ground? I need to sack up and grow a pair of confidence balls. This
guy emailed me first. Now damnit respond and stop being such a prissy meek
idiot.
Response: RE: summer fun
Today was the perfect pool day! My kind of summer : ) My
week pretty much consisted of pool, reading and coaching my dance team...kind
of the beauty of being a teacher. What did you do all week?
I hit
a low here. Beginners mistake. Chalk this one up as a loss. “Today was the
perfect pool day” with an exclamation point?!?! I sound like a dork. Whatever
what’s done is done. The email is sent and I sound like an exclamation
point/smiley face loser. Whatever. I got my first email done.
Message
2: Your a bobcat? oh no you arent going to attack ...
Your a bobcat? oh no you arent going to attack me are you?
lol And what kind of food do you like? You arent going to hate me if I am not a
bengals fan are you? Oh and I am moving up to cincy soon.
He
looks normal but slightly dorky in his pic. But I like his attempt to be funny
although I would say he failed. I am an OU Bobcat buddy and if you can’t
assimilate the 2 together them there is a problem already. But the attempt was
nice. Ill respond but I’m totally disregarding the Bobcat part.
Response:
RE: Your a bobcat? oh no you arent going to attack ...
I love to try all kinds of different food. Once you move
to Cincy you will see we have some of the most unique restaurants around. I
won’t hate you if you aren’t a Bengals fan. I’ m kind of a fair-weathered fan
anyway. I really only go for the tailgating ?. When are you moving to Cincy and
why?
It
was better. It is straight to the point and I sounded like myself. I’m getting
a little more calm while doing this.
Message
#3 Hey :) My name is K. I was reading about you, & it
sounds like we have a lot in common, so I thought I'd say hi. How's your week
going so far?
K
Okay, I like this one. He is cute, we have a
TON in common, and he is close. He even owns his own home. He is really fit and
a personal trainer so maybe he will be willing to personally train me. In more
ways than one. Nice. I like this guy. They are getting better and easier. Cool!
I’ll respond for sure on this one but I need to be myself and sound like
myself.
Response:
Hey! We have a ton in common! My week has been great
because I have pretty much spent all these hot days at the pool. I'm sure you
saw I am a teacher so I'm off all summer and I have been taking full advantage.
What have you been up to during this hot week? I'm glad you sent an email.
This
email even sounds a little confident. Something must have come over me to put
the “I’m glad you sent an email”. But I am glad he sent it. And I’m glad things
are looking up and I’m feeling almost comfortable.
The
other 2 emails aren’t even worth commenting on but I’ll put them in here for
your entertainment.
Dumb
email #1:
Hey There
how's you evening going?
So he
might have bigger insecurities than me. However, I have to give him a lot of
credit if anyone is a sissy on this thing it is me so I give him props for
throwing himself out there.
Dumb
email #2:
hi how r u
hi my name is C im from Lexington
kentucky and i would like to get to know you better u have a very nice profile
and you sound well rounded u may always email me back here or i do have yahoo
messenger the name is ******* so i hope to hear from u soon have a good day
You seen nice C but possibly a little
too forward. Sorry I just know we wouldn’t be a match.
HOLY SHIT BALLS!!!! The guy I winked at emailed me!!!!
Woooaaahhhh! Why am I like a small child excited right now?!?! I haven’t even
looked at my matches yet and I have already been winked at, winked back and now
an email! This feels pretty good!
Message from N:
Hey, how was your week?
N
Ok N
that wasn’t very witty or detailed or anything. For someone who claims they are
sarcastic and has a “smartassy attitude” that was pretty flat. Maybe he is new
at this like me. Maybe he is nervous. He took the step and emailed me so that
has to mean something. I hate how I am asking so many freaking questions on
this thing. Too bad I’m not super confident and can just do this stuff without
second guessing everything. Ok a response. What should this response be? I need
to bring some interest to this. This is flat and if I respond flatly this thing
will fizzle. So I need to be interesting and lively.
Response:
Hey N
My
week has been pretty great. I have been trying to stay cool by sitting by the
pool every day and reading. These 100-degree days are killer. What have you
been up to all week?
SS
I had “ I hope you haven’t been camping in this hot
weather” in there but I took it out because I’m a scared little chicken shit.
Something about that line seemed to personal or too much or something. I don’t
know.
Ok time to look at today’s matches. I’m guessing every day
they send me new matches? OH GOD! The Verizon guy is one of my matches. The guy
that runs my dad’s business account is a 95% match for me. Maybe if we go out
on a date he will return the $34.99 otter box case that he wouldn’t return
previously because it was 14 days past the date I bought it. Isn’t this
something? The Verizon guy and I are compatible.
Ok this guy CJ looks WAY cute! He is 29 so perfect. He
seems really awesome and adventurous. Really cute. Houston we have a problem.
He likes tall “athletic and toned” people. He wants Heidi Klum not someone with
“A few extra pounds”. Lets be serious I’m not his type. But I want to be he is
so cute. He travels to places like Ireland and Italy and he is tall, dark, and
handsome, and he wants to go to Africa one day. Shit. I want to make contact
but there is a voice in my head telling me I’m not his type. If I stopped
eating for a while I COUD BE HIS TYPE! But I love food. Damnit. Should I do the
old wink trick and hope it works? I don’t want to message him because I don’t
know what to say, “Hey how’s your week? So how toned and athletic do you like
people to be?” This is weird because I
want to make contact but I don’t want rejection. I don’t want him to reject me.
Baaaaaaa. Whatever I’ll wink and feel like shit later when he doesn’t contact
back.
Jesus how the F do I wink at someone? Whatever I put I’m
interested now maybe he will contact me back or something. Weird.
Ok so a 35-year-old man just winked at me. You are 35 sir
you were about to finish the 5th grade when I born. You are too old. You are cute but old, sorry.
Ok so I have 2 new emails. I’m nervous but excited. I hope
none of these people are serial killers.
Message:
RE: Your a bobcat? oh no you arent
going to attack ...
Yea I love to try new places and do
new adventures. Well that is good I am a steelers fan...... I am moving up
there in about 2 months. And moving up there to take you out duh.. Haha
actually work.
I would like to
know more about you, Whats your name and how about 5 random things about you.
Hmmm not bad. Kinda funny. Ok this seems natural for some
reason. Please don’t be like the Craig’s list killer.
Response:
Well, I hate the Steelers but I won’t hold it against you.
I think you will really like Cincinnati when you get here. Definitely move
either downtown or Hyde Park. When you get here I’ll take you to all the great
places.
My name is SS and 5 random things about me are…
1. I am deathly afraid of all
spiders.
2. I
hate bananas.
3. I
have a Master’s degree.
4. I
have 2 brothers and we are all really close.
5. I
teach in an inner city school and LOVE it.
Ok now it’s your turn. 5 random
things…GO!
-E
Holy COW! Sassy lady. Totally
natural and even a little suggestive. Wow, good for me. That was easy kinda. I’ll
read this second email later and I am going to sign of. A pretty successful
first day I guess. Hopefully some of these people are quality and not a huge
waste of time.
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