Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Patience is a virtue


July 2, 2012

Well after a long day of interacting with the outside world, I finally have a chance to sit down and interact with the people in the cyber world. I have a feeling that there is going to be a lot of first time contacters and there is only one email I want…Mr. Ray Bans.

Well upon login I see I have 7 emails, 9 matches, 3 people interested, and 10 winks. I like winks because they are subtle and a simple way to contact and they are easy to ignore because you press the “no thanks” button and they go away.

Start with winks: It literally amazes me that 37 year olds wink at me. It is clearly stated in my revised profile that I want to date 25-30 year olds. That’s it. That is why they ask the question. So it amazes me that people in their 40’s contact me. I’m not looking for a dad I’m looking for a date.

So I like to wink. I do. It is easy and I don’t really have to make the first move. I feel like winking back at a wink is like being back in middle school. You wink back at a wink because you want to show you are interested back but its just like passing a note in 7th grade saying “do you like me? Check yes or no.” Genius. The perfect way to still let people slightly put themselves out there but not enough to care if they get rejected. So there are 2 types of winkers.
First type would be the serial winkers. They wink at everyone and you can tell they do. They are the ones who either look like straight creeps who want to get laid or they are the polar opposite and they are extreme dorks who are awkward.

The second type of people who wink are the older people on here. 30-40 year olds click the wink button like it is going out of style. I had 10 winks today and 6 of them were 30 plus.

I decided not to wink back at the guy that looked like the incredible hulk because he literally was scary looking and even more scary when I saw his Halloween costume was the incredible hulk.  I didn’t wink at Mr. Elf because he was holding  a cat in his picture and I hate cats but more importantly, we have zero in common. His profile was way over my head and I didn’t even know what some things were. I knew we weren’t a match.  There was Mr. Costume who had a costume on in all his pictures that I decided to let go. It wasn’t because he wore a shit ton of costumes, that’s actually fine by me, it is because I don’t want to drive 45 minutes to see him all the time. Too far. I had to next this cute guy because he lived about 40 minutes from me and has 2 daughters. I just don’t think I am ready to be a step-mom to a 6 year old who has the same name as me. This search is for me and I know that right now I am not equip to live that life. I had to not wink at another guy who lived way far in Indiana.  I didn’t wink at another guy because he said he wanted a “refined woman” that’s not me. I am put together well but I also have a very thin filter making me not refined.

I did wink back at a few guys but nothing too exciting. I’m just not very excited about any of them. There is a guy from Europe who now lives in Cincy and I def winked at him because I want to go on a date with him and meet him. I mainly just hope he has an accent. I’m a little annoyed at this point because I feel like I am weeding people out and I haven’t really found someone that has sparked my interest. That is annoying to me. I’m feeling frustrated.

I guess on to the matches….

Ok love the opening of this guy’s profile
I'm sarcastic, I pee with the door open, i'm grumpy in the morning and I probably think you're adorable when you're mad. On the other hand, I slam on my brakes for squirrels, I like buying roses, I hold doors open, i'll do anything to make someone smile and i'll always ask about your day. I'm not perfect but no one is, except for maybe Fergie.”

Hahahahaha He sounds SO much more my style then some of these other people.  I put him in my “interested” pile and I emailed him something ballsy…

My email:
So your profile is the only profile I have ever read and actually laughed out loud. I felt like I needed to email someone that could actually make me laugh out loud from a website.

Could be really weird or it could be an out of the box email that he is looking for. Either way it is exactly what I thought in my head at that moment so I felt inclined to put it. If he isn’t receptive oh well because there is like a billion people on here.

So on to the emails….these really tire me out because they are long and sometimes stressful. Not to mention I feel like I am not having success on here. I feel like I am not finding the type of person on here that I wanted. I also feel like everyone who contacts me I am either not interested in at all, they aren’t my type, or I have so so feelings about them.  This is a downer. I wish this was easy like the commercials show.

Ok, so here is a forward email that I respect. And the guy looks cool and cute from his pictures so that is a major plus!

His email:
Hey my name is Mr. Straight Shooter your picture caught my eye and I thought I'd say hello. You seem like a cool person to hang out with, maybe we could go out sometime. If nothing else you would of shared some laughs with a nice guy and maybe of made a new friend.


My Response:
Hey! So you're right we should go out sometime you also seem like a fun person. Not to mention, you can maybe teach me a thing or two in the kitchen. Glad you emailed.

E

I felt like I had to email back. I have had so many dead end roads that it is getting tedious and I am getting impatient.

Now here is soupy. I feel like I really don’t have feelings either way on him. He was kind of like soup. It could be really good or it could be from a can that is full of unnecessary sodium and preservatives. I don’t know what to say he is just like soup. I guess this wearisome emailing will be a window into the future with soupy (I say that with a shit ton of sarcasm.)

He said:
Hey, how are you? How was your weekend? Just thought I'd say hello, have a good night.

Soupy

I said:
Hey Soupy,

I had a really great weekend besides the fact that it was a million degrees outside. I saw that you like to hang out in OTR. Where are some of your favorite bars to hang out at?

Talk to you soon,
E

So when someone emails you and basically says nothing it is really hard to respond.

Ok so Mr. FellowOU emailed me back. And I’m not going to lie his email makes me like him better. At first I thought he was possibly boring but I’m having a change of heart…

His reply to me:
3 reds games,, usually head to bengals a few times every year. Also love concerts. Went to kenny chesney and tim mcgraw yesterday. I graduated from ou in 2006 in journalism and now work at fox19. Remember pawpurrs in athens? I bartended there for 3 years. Miss that place to death. Tell me about yourself.

My Response:
Sounds like you had a busy and fun weekend. One of my roommates was a bartender at Pawpurrs so I have had my share of prime times. I graduated OU in 2009 with a teaching degree and have been teaching for 3 years. I live in Hyde Park and I mostly hang out downtown at the Banks or in OTR. How about you? Where do you hang out in Cincy?

E

SO I feel like that was enough to hold him over on the very vague and stupid question of “tell me about yourself.” I just never know what to say. Its like do I tell you I have had type 1 diabetes for 17 years or do you want to hear that I have a teaching degree? I just never know how to answer a question like that. I figure if I go for the indefinite answer chances are they will ask me something more specific next time.

And then faithfully Mr. Weight Lifter emailed me back…He is a solid 8 years older than me so that is kinda a huge age difference but he seems normal so I’m going to keep going with it.

His email:
Hey Emily :)

How's your week going so far?

Do you have any big plans for the 4th?

I decided to join match because I don't really want to meet someone in a bar or place like that so I thought maybe I'd find the kind of person I'm looking for on here. My experience has been ok so far, I've met some really nice people, just not the one yet that I feel like I'm supposed to be with. That's ok though, I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for the right one, rather than trying to settle for someone that I feel uncertain about.

My weekend was pretty good, it just went by way too fast lol. My brother just bought a new house so I've been helping him move.

I have Wed off so it's gonna be a short week at work this week :)

So what are some of the most important things that you are looking for in someone that you meet?

Talk to you soon,

Mr. Weight Lifter

My Response:

Hey  Mr. Weight Lifter,

Can’t complain about my week thus far. I am going to Columbus to go to Red, White, and Boom with my friends. Most of my college friends live in Columbus so I try to visit as much as I can. My friends are really funny so it’s always refreshing to visit and get a good laugh. Are you doing anything for the 4th? I think it sounds like your reasoning for joining ********** is a good one.

Sounds like you’re a good brother. I am moving in a month so I will be doing the same thing and calling both my brothers to come and lift the big things. J

Some of the most important things I am looking for in someone are a good sense of humor, strong work ethic, easy-going, and has a positive outlook on life. I feel like at this point in my life I want to date someone that knows what they want and they aren’t afraid to go after it. I am really easy-going and silly and so I definitely want someone who will join in on my crazy ideas and laugh with me along the way. I try to surround myself with positive people because life is too short to complain all the time so I want to be with someone who also sees the glass half full. I love going out and having a good time so I want to find someone who also likes to do that too.

How about you? What are you looking for?

E

So Old Weight lifter brought on a serious question there. What are the most important things that I am looking for in a person I meet? Hmmm good question. I don’t really know. I had to stop and think about the answer. And I had to limit myself to 4 things because I wanted to keep going but then I would have sounded like an uber shallow bitch. I am a picky ass and I have no idea why. I keep nexting these people because I am picky. But I am allowed to be picky right? And what the hell do I want in a person I meet? I want him to like me for me. I want him to be cool with the fact that girls Do poop and fart. I want him to go to my brother’s games with me and come to all the crazy graduation parties. I want him to be friends with my dad and brothers and watch sports with them when I go over there on Sundays. I want him to be friends with my friends and laugh at the stupid things we think are funny. I want him to be okay with the fact that I say A TON of words wrong and also use words incorrectly. And I want him to be okay with the fact that if he corrects me on my word usage I am going to get defensive.  I want him to understand when I am having a self conscious day and help build me up. I want him to challenge me and push me to do things that I don’t think I can do. I want him to teach me new things and share his life and family with me. I want to meet his friends, even though we will end up moving on the same street as all my friends and raise our kids with my friends’ kids. I want him to love his job so we can talk about it.  I want him to beat up the other middle school dance team coach….not really but I want him to talk about the other coach with me support me when I get mad about middle school dance. I just want him to like me for me. I just want someone to be my partner in crime and always be down to kick it with me because he enjoys being with me.  Is that too much to ask?!?! I want someone who will kick it with me and stick with me Mr. Weight Lifter. I just don’t think that is too much to ask. I know I have been impatient today on my quest for compatibility but  I think I have some high standards and I don’t think I should have to settle. Mr. Weight lifter said it best himself,

 “I've met some really nice people, just not the one yet that I feel like I'm supposed to be with. That's ok though, I'm willing to wait as long as it takes for the right one, rather than trying to settle for someone that I feel uncertain about.”

And he is right. I shouldn’t have to ever settle and I need to wait as long as it takes for the right one. No point in settling, giving up, or getting negative about the whole online dating thing.  I need to find patience and do what I need to do to find the right one.  So what if I have to spend quite a bit of time weeding through people, I am eventually going to find a really nice guy who will do the entire above plus so much more and the waiting will be worth it. So what if today was a slow and uninteresting day.  There are tons of people on here and if I want the description above I am going to have to be willing to have many days like today.

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