Back to the drawing board...

July 24, 2012

So it has been a week and 2 days since the confusing second date. I talked myself into being more open minded and stop basing everything off silly details like the fact that he made-out with me prematurely and spelled the word different wrong. I told myself that the reason I am in this situation is because I am picky and I let little things get in the way. So I made an attitude check and decided to give him another chance except there needed to be more meeting places and less hanging out at his place.

So he called me on Wednesday and asked me to go see Spiderman. Of course I said yes because going to see a movie is WAY better than watching a Netflix at his house. Less awkward and less chances he was going to maul me at any moment. I drove to his house and we went to the movie in his car. The movie was great. I could tell he was nervous and wanted to try and hold my hand or touch my arm or something but he couldn’t quite get it together. He would look down at me and smile and I felt he was really into me and it was reassuring. After the movie we chatted the whole way back to his house and the conversation was very natural and easy and it was like the first date all over again. He again asked me to come in, which I didn’t because it was midnight. I felt good about that date.

He texted me the next night and asked me to see the midnight showing of Dark Night. I didn’t want to go and I wanted to convince him to see it another night. I just didn’t feel like seeing a midnight 3 hour movie to be honest. So my friend K and her boyfriend J agreed to go see the movie with us on Monday. I gave that idea to Mr. Chemistry and he was all over it. I told him if he was uncomfortable or nervous we could go see it the 2 of us but he was excited and totally cool with it. To be honest I was kind of taken back and excited that he wanted to meet my friend. I was really starting to like the idea of him. I started imaging doing boyfriend and girlfriend things with him. I was getting accustomed to the idea that he would be coming places with me and possibly be a constant in my life. It was scary but also very exciting because I haven’t felt that in a while.

SO yesterday rolled around and it was time to go see the movie with my friends. K was excited but nervous to meet him and I was a ball of emotions. This was the first time in a while I was bringing someone around. Not to mention I was still trying to keep an open mind. He texted me on Monday afternoon o make sure we were still on for 7:30pm. I told him yes and told him I would meet him at his place around 7. So I’m rushing around my house trying to get ready with my bundle of nerves. I texted him and told him I would be there in 5 minutes and he responded with “I have a question.” My stomach freaking dropped. I thought, “I am about to pull in our apartment complex and you and going to cancel on me.” Honestly if he would have cancelled I would have said whatever but I was mostly thinking about how embarrassed I was going to be when I called my friend to basically tell her I was stood up. My face was immediately red. I responded by saying “ok what’s up.” He then proceeded to say, “what time are you coming to my house”. Mind you I was already 5 minutes late from when I told him I would be there.  My nerves were calmed and I told him I was pulling in… to my horror he responded, “I’m not home.” NOT HOME?!?!? NOT HOME!!!!! WTF?!?! Where the hell was he? And why was he forcing me to look like a giant ass in front of my friends. This was bad, this was really bad. Why would he not tell me earlier? Why did we get this freaking far and he was standing me up…yikes. So I had to respond… I said “well if you cant go that’s fine but you probably should have told me earlier.” I felt confident about that text. He immediately called me. I nervously answered because I felt so stupid.  He basically said “I lost track of time because I was helping my friend move.” He said he felt like a dick and he would met me at the theater. I just felt dumb. Really dumb. So he called when he got to the movie and I was standing there like a dumbass with 2 freaking tickets to this damn movie. He smiled when he saw me and apologized a million times. He gave me this whole schpeal about how his friend has always helped him move so he had to help his friend, the time got away from him yadda yadda. He was wearing a nice v neck and khakis. I thought that was weird. Who wears that to move? But we went to the theatre with a few awkward pauses. I didn’t really know what to think and I had to intro him to one of my best friends and he was like 40 minutes late. This is not what I am looking for but I was being open-minded and everyone is allowed to forget…right? No! but ok be nice. He met K and she of course thought he was cute and he was dressed nicely so he did look good but still so awkward. So the movie started and I smelled alcohol. Like the type of alcohol that seeps through your pores. SO I kept getting closer and trying to smell him and see if it was him. SURE ENOUGH! It was him. He was either drunk, had drank during the day, or was still sweating it out from the weekend? I mean it was a freaking Monday. I’m not working and I don’t even do that shit. Like sometimes I'm bitchy and stand-offish but you dont have to go drinking to hang out with me. Jeezz. 

SO he was drunk? Was he out with friends and getting drunk and forgot? What the hell?!?! I was so confused. This is not what I want. I want to be someone’s priority. I don’t want to be the afterthought while drinking. Dumb. Just dumb. I asked K if she smelled it and she did. Just terrible. The worst part was I look like the ass. Me. I hate feeling embarrassed and I was way passed embarrassed. 

He walked me to my car and invited me over but I declined. I was disappointed. Really disappointed. I had been weary but I had started to allow myself to think about possibilities and then this. I mean not being at his place, being late, and then drinking…this was too much. Not what I need. He texted me to tell me he wanted to do something before I went on vacation and I just want to say…YOU DON’T LIKE ME! It is discouraging and annoying. So I got caught up in the first guy and it was a rookie mistake. I’m back to the website…back to the drawing board I guess…why do I feel so disappointed and almost sad? I didn't even cry when I ended a 8 month relationship so why do I feel this way after like 8 days? It has to be the fact that I was almost letting my guard down and it was thrown in my face...like your typical idiot.